No matter how ‘together’ you think you have it, life is a constantly journey of growth and realisation. We are always evolving, and the more you pursue that, the more confronting it becomes. It is very easy to speak about personal growth, another thing to actually live it.
One confronting part of this that I have had to walk through, and you will at some point too, is the area of judgement.
Someone lets you down. Someone doesn’t do what they say. They break your trust. Or they do something that to you seems unforgivable.
I can guarantee you that these things WILL happen to you when you start to uncover who you are and the life you truly want to live.
Making others wrong
Judgement is all about making the other person wrong, in whatever situation you are facing.
It is so much easier to judge than to forgive. The payoffs are juicy, and you don’t have to self-reflect at all. You can stay justified, and the other person can just SUFFER.
Here’s the hard facts – especially when a person seems to have hurt you knowingly – they are rarely considering what you are going through. It is broken people who project pain, hurt, lies, anger, lack of integrity, falsehood.
These people have such mixed up values and so many layers of negative beliefs about themselves and the world, you can be pretty sure your feelings are not high on the priority list.
But aside from that, here is the MOST important thing.
When you make someone else wrong, you are trying to change, correct and control the other person rather than taking responsibility for where you stand in the situation.
I love this quote by Jarl Forsman: “Most judgments of others are ego strategies to avoid uncomfortable feelings.”
You feel stupid. You feel let down. You feel disappointed. But you created this situation through your own decisions.
That is a VERY hard pill to swallow sometimes.
However... the power of this is that if YOU created it, you get to determine the next steps, where it goes from here, and how you are going to use the bad to TOTALLY REVOLUTIONISE your own life and the lives of those you come into contact with everyday.
It’s hard when you are affected by the actions of another person, let down, disappointed or hurt, not to launch into a conquest of battle against them and how very wrong they are.
Nearly every judgement we make of another person is a reaction that is triggering our own self-judgement, and feelings of inadequacy. We prefer to blame and complain about the other person rather than take responsibility for that part of us that we are actually seeing ‘out there’.
Let Love In
The next worse thing to judging others is to transfer that judgement to yourself.
“What an idiot I am!! Why did I ever let that person into my life” Yeh good job – just kick, crush, and abuse yourself, and fall into a heap of despair. That works WONDERS. NOT!!!
This is just as bad, and again, comes from a disempowered state that is going to lead to no-where land.
Open the door gently to self-awareness and come back to a place of love and freedom.
Recognise the learnings from the painful, disappointing situations and shift them into a positive perspective that will help you grow.
What do you want? To spend the rest of your life in resentment, with shallow relationships and stuck in a ball of bitterness?
OR do you want to move forward EMPOWERED, believing that everything is an opportunity to learn more about yourself, and the pain that others endure that you now have the power to help transform?
P.S. Whenever you’re ready… here are 3 ways I can help you make the change you want in the fastest possible time.
1. Join my Facebook Group
This is your invitation to join the revolution! Here is the link to my private Facebook group - The Reinvention Revolution. Click HERE to join.
2. Grab a free copy of my E-Book
It’s your hot tips for an empowered life! – Click here to download!
3. Work with me privately
If you ever want to get some 1:1 help, we can jump on the phone for a quick call, I call this The Speed Date Call™. This is a great for us to get to know each other and see if we are a good fit.
Just click here to schedule our speed date. See you on the other side.